How often do you talk to your partner about money? Often times, money is still being considered a taboo topic among couples which is why it’s one of the leading sources of disagreements between couples.
CNN Money reports that more than 70% of adults in a National Foundation for Credit Counseling survey claimed they had negative feelings about discussing money with a fiancé and more than 20% said the discussions would either lead to a fight or reveal unknown financial issues or even cause them to break off the engagement.
Ouch.
I’m going to be completely honest and reveal that before we got married, my husband and I didn’t always eye-to-eye when it came to money and our financial goals. We even had a few heated disagreements.
Realizing that I no longer wanted money talks and issues to have a negative effect on our relationship. We started having finance dates to get on the same page and I’m happy to report that any random money arguments or issues haven’t come up for a long while. Our financial situation is nowhere near perfect, but the meetings have helped us regain our focus.
Having a finance date or money meeting with your partner is crucial if you want to establish and work on goals together and simply be on the same page when it comes to your current financial situation.
Finance dates can be extremely powerful when it comes to boosting your connection and relationship by calling out the elephant in the room so there are no secrets.
Here are a few ways to make your finance dates a success along with details about how I personally implement finance dates with my partner.
Determine Your Needs and Agree on a Time and Setting
In order to set up a finance date or money meeting, you need to determine what you want to accomplish by it and what would work best for your particular situation and schedule.
Maybe you want your partner to open up and talk more about money. Maybe you want him or her to see that you are more approachable when it comes to discussing your finances or maybe you want to set some new goals and establish an accountability system.
No matter what your goals are, ensuring that you are both on the same page and your intentions are clear to each other is key.
Decide on a time and setting for your finance date while taking both of your schedules into consideration. Some couples choose to talk monthly while others talk weekly or somewhere in between.
My husband and I had our first weekly finance date at an ice-cream shop on a Friday night. We may not go our for ice-cream each week, but we decided that Friday nights work best for us to get together and go over our finances.
Organize Your Topics
Before you have your finance date, try to go into it prepared and with some topic ideas in mind. Brainstorm any issues or concerns you are having or goals or plans for the future so you have some solid topics to discuss instead of just rambling and blurting out random things.
When you get organized and prepare ahead of time, it gives you more time to gather your thoughts so you can cover everything that has been on your mind.
I organize the topics for our finance date as simply as possible.
Think Before You Speak, But Be Honest
While finance dates are all about talking through your your concerns and plans, it’s also important to focus on listening and processing everything that your partner is saying. I take ‘meeting minutes’ or notes during all of our talks so we can revisit them later.
It’s also important to think before you speak, but don’t hold back your honest opinion. Having a finance date and putting everything out in the open will require you and your partner to become vulnerable.
It’s best to think first and determine a way to communicate your point without belittling the other person’s ideas, scolding them or putting them down.
Always End the Meeting with a Solution in Mind or Plan of Action
The main point of your meetings should be to check in on ongoing goals, get on the same page, and develop a plan of action that you both can implement over the next few weeks and months.
Try to always end your finance date on a positive note with actionable tips and strategies that you both can implement.
At one of our meetings, we ended with writing down ways that my husband (fiance’ at the time) could earn extra money over the next few months (since that was a goal of ours) along with leads we could follow up on and strategies for me to try when grocery shopping since an issue we’d had involved me overspending on food and being a little careless when it comes to our budget.
Hold Each Other Accountable, Encourage, and Track your Progress
Each meeting should begin with a follow-up for the topics discussed during the last meeting. Check-in with your partner to see how their progress is going and hold them accountable for their responsibilities for the goals you set.
It’s best to build a solid foundation where you can communicate clearly and encourage each other to improve your financial situation.
Since I write down most of what happens during our finance dates, it’s helpful and quite fun to look back and track our progress and see what we’ve accomplished as a team.
The Bottom Line
Finance dates can be extremely powerful in terms of allowing you and your partner to connect on a deeper level when it comes to your finances. It opens up the door to safe and productive conversations followed by actionable solutions and positive results. Talk to your partner if you haven’t already to discuss their feelings about having a finance date and start planning and organizing some topics you want to discuss.
So, when will you schedule your next finance date?
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